Posting While Passively Condescending and Feigning Ignorance: The Woke Way to Argue on Social Media
I've been noticing a shift in the manner of disagreeing on social media as of late and I just have to say, you aren't fooling anybody.
Hear me out. I think by now we are all mostly in agreement that belligerently bashing someone on social media when you don’t agree with them is wrong. Right? Good. So now, can we please work on understanding that being passively condescending while feigning ignorance or pretending you’re making a harmless joke with an unprompted response to someone you disagree with is also wrong?
If you have something to say and there is an appropriate opportunity to say it then just say it. Speak clearly, calmly, and concisely. Speak with intelligence and compassion, not blind emotions and superiority. Speak with empathy and a desire to understand, not with pity and stubbornness. If you are incapable of this type of integrity and insist on continuing to sneak in underhanded, patronizing, and pontifical comments, under the guise of a lighthearted quip, then at least do us all the favor of not being pompous enough to assume that no one realizes what you’re doing. You know what happens when you assume right? (Ass. U. Me.)
I can just picture the whole scenario so perfectly in my mind. There you are, scrolling through Facebook, and suddenly you see a post that ruffles your feathers. You read it once and feel slightly perturbed but you take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are above petty social media arguments so you just keep scrolling. You have a brief moment of shallow pride as you pat yourself on the back for rising above and not engaging but something draws you back in. You read the post again and you feel yourself getting a little fired up, in fact that post just downright chaps your ass. You begin to formulate the perfect phrasing for your opinions so you can educate the obviously privileged poster. Maybe you even type it out a few times just to see how it feels. Possibly you read it out loud once or twice trying out different inflections and emphasis on each word but you lose your nerve and delete the whole thing. You tell yourself you are exercising impeccable self-control by not lowering yourself to their level and you close your phone.
You then attempt to distract yourself with some frivolous activity in your vapid life but that pesky post just keeps nagging at you. You really shouldn’t let this impeccable opportunity to impart your valuable wisdom on those who are not as “woke” as yourself. So you scrunch your nose up and squint your eyes and type out something subtly snide and snotty. As soon as you press send you sit back with a smug grin on your face, chuckle to yourself, and marvel at your biting wit. You fight the urge to check your phone and see if anyone has responded because your inflated sense of self-righteousness leads you to believe you are above silly little Facebook arguments. You congratulate yourself for not letting your emotions get the best of you and saying something outright rude. All you did was make a few ambiguous comments with slightly disparaging undertones that surely no one would even be sharp enough to pick up on. It’s your own private satisfaction just to know you got a little jab in under the radar.
After a few minutes you discover your mind is persistently pulled back to your phone in an effort to validate your haughty arrogance. So you give in and take a quick peek to see if anyone has responded yet. You find yourself secretly hoping someone wrote something defensive or hostile. You’re already talking yourself up in your mind just hoping for someone to give you the excuse to hop up on your soap box. Once several hours go by and no one has acknowledged your post you begin to feel a bit disappointed. You’re almost let down that your post didn’t spark a fire but simply fizzled out. The nervous anticipation of conflict begins to wane and the dullness of your life starts to envelope you. You feel somewhat sad and maybe slightly lonely. You sit with these feelings for a moment but the unpleasantness doesn’t agree with you so you assure yourself that the reason no one responded to you must be because your superior intellect just went right over their heads. You mentally put a mark in the win column for yourself and begin scrolling through your feed again in an unconscious search for the next post that puts your delicate little panties in a twist.
You know who you are. I promise you have some idea. If you aren’t laughing at this satirical anecdote or rolling your eyes and begrudgingly admitting that you might be guilty of a few of these things then you are most likely offended by the above statements and are vehemently denying any relation to the character in our story. If you feel the latter applies then you just might be the type of person I'm referring to. It's okay! Don’t fret! You have several options. You can take responsibility for your actions, check your intentions before you respond to a post that irritates you, choose not to respond at all, or go pout in a corner and nurse your wounded ego while posting on social media about feeling victimized.
The choice is yours my friend.
Disclaimer: If you did not understand a large majority of this narrative then do yourself a favor and buy a thesaurus and read it again armed with the proper tools.